Rehearsing Death, and the Life Lived./A Bizarre Love Poem Shivaji K Panikkar

This is an unreal story for the world, such as our love, never really lived in the world, only constant rehearsals performed in silent secrecy. Continuously by-hearting the movement co-ordinations and the dialogues, the tonal gradations and the varying pitches of the delivery, only rehearsing; a theatre never lived.

Thus lying at the imagined deathbed he told his lover: “Never burry this body so much loved by you, burn it, all at once, it is easier to forget that way, otherwise you will be terrified of the thought of this body smelling and being eaten-up by worms”.

“Oh! No! I can’t think of your pleasurable body being eaten-up by flames, your joints and skull breaking, I can’t loose them, think if there is a better way to dispose you off from this world, where I can follow you.”

“Wrap me in silk and flowers, before that rub-in all those wonderful, gentle fragrance you love, and leave me on the silent tower, and say goodbye for ever, for, every lover has to do that one day.”

Oh! No! I can’t think of your handsome body being eaten-up by vultures, your skin, flesh and bones being cruelly pecked and dismantled, think if there is a better way to dispose you off from this world, and I shall surely follow you.”

“Drown me into the deep sea.”

“Oh! No! I can’t think of your lovely body being eaten-up by fish and tortoise, your skin, flesh and bones half eaten and lying on the shore bolted-up, think if there is a better way to dispose you off from this world and where I am able to be with you.”

The lover continued, “ Not for the fire, worms, birds and fishes, as the end comes near we shall embalm ourselves together, and live eternally in a cold and dark pyramid; deathless and timeless, our bodies and souls shall be for ever, rotating like the Gemini diamonds hung from the sky.”

Thinking thus they became silent over the impossibilities that the life offers.
September, 24th 2000.